If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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