I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
