So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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