My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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