No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
