i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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