I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
