I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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