Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
