Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Alive.
So much puke
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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