your room smells of hookers.
And success
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
