Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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