So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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