Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
