Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
and you fell through a lawn chair
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
