I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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