I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize