She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
