I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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