you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
