you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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