Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
