He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
