If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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