hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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