You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize