is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i already hear my dad disowning me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
