whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
