Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
