He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
