and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
