at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
