So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
