i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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