i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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