Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
