He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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