i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
