I'm drive I can fine osifer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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