i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
