i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
