i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
