I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
