Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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