see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
