I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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