Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
