Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
