so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
