Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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