what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
