it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't deserve a penis
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
