i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
