What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
