Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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