I'm so fucking centered right now
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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